Friday, January 4, 2008

Translation is only moments away.....

Well, I had the opportunity to visit the Doctor to see about fixing the only part of me that isnt perfect(besides my weight gain, my large nose, my longer then "normal" second toes, my no toenail pinky toes, ect, ect, ect). It was a lengthy process, they made me look up and down a lot. they make me place a name tag on my chin while they took pictures. They used some little measuring thingy to measure the amount of "lift" of my eyelids. (Incase you were wondering it is still ZERO.) If any of you have wondered what my eye problem is called, it is Congenial Ptosis. There are many terrible things that can happen due to this disorder; luckily, I have never suffered any of the other side effects. The biggest problem I have had due to this problem, is not being able to look up quick enough. Like the time Mark hit me in the face with a shovel while I was making a ring out of telephone wire in his front yard, but that’s a whole different story.
Anyways, there are two different ways they can try to resolve this lift issue. The most common way is to remove a small portion of your eyelid and shorten the “lifter” so that you will be able to open your eyes more fully. The surgery for this is called the Aponeurosis Advancement. The problem with this is, you must be able to lift your eyelids at least a little in order to have this be a true success. The major drawback of this is if you don’t have the needed amount of movement, you run in to the possibility of never being able to close your eye again.
The second option is the Autogenous Fascia Lata or the Frontilias Sling procedure. In this procedure, there is more that needs to be done to make it “work”. First they take a small amount of tissue from your knee or they use something created in a lab and cut it into 4 small 2mm x 12mm strips. The doctor then makes multiple incisions into the brow and folds down the outer level of skin from the eyelid. Then a “sling” is created in which the eyebrows now act as the “lifters” for the lids. I have included a drawing of the process so you can see what they will do. I did not include the actual pictures because it is not a pretty sight. This is all done with a local anesthetic with supplemental sudation.

Anyways, that’s all for now, I still need to decided if and when I am going to have my eyes ripped apart and sewn back together.

Here is a link to a few "work safe" before and after photos of ptosis

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Summary of '07

I decided to create a summary of the things I have done and learned over the last year as well as updates on previous posts. I have been a little busy with life so I have not been able to blog quite as much as some people would prefer. So with no hesitation here we go (no particular order)
1. MRI’s - the feeling of being placed in a casket and being buried alive.....Yet very relaxing. I was buried alive for almost an hour and a half...better then a trip to the spa. Am I dying? That’s for me to know and you to find out.
2. Jersey - $170+ dollars and many x-rays later, I found out that my dog that limps and was deathly ill, does not have a limp and is not sick, yet the vet was willing to perform more tests for only $500 more. Hmmmmmm strange.
3. Electrocution – not much I want to say about this other then, holy *&% that hurt...my chest still hurts after that. They say everything happens for a reason and they are right, did you read my blog “Tis the season”? Well luckily I didn’t die or the world would never have known the truth.
4. The gray hatchback – Driving to Sacramento on ZERO hours of sleep after working a grave yard, buying a car, driving home in a Bronco who’s brakes keep locking up = a pretty fun little day trip....Taking over a year to fix a car that was “95% finished”, requiring 3 engines, a complete interior, and hundreds of wasted hours = a profit of $47.54 ( I wonder if I can write that off on my taxes)
5. Bunny rabbits don’t live longer than a week when they jump face first into the concrete from a 5 foot vertical drop.
6. Precious – costs more than the crappy civic hatch cost me. It’s not even my dog for hell sakes
7. I have perfected my ability to injury myself whenever I “fix” something and have reduced the number of times the item I am “fixing” to actually work after I am done.
8. Cooked Ground Beef is only good in the fridge for about 3 weeks before it goes bad, at 5 weeks it gives you a bellyache.
9. The new McD’s commercial with the little kid dipping his nuggets is good marketing. Haven’t seen it. Check out my other post
10. Just because you drive a hybrid car does not mean going 85 on the freeway will help stop “Global Warming”
11. Muck like peoples ears and noses....stinky-ness increases with age.
Well that’s all for this blog, Hopefully we all learned something.

Best Commercial of '07